Celebrating Image Bearers with Down Syndrome

Today, March 21, is World Down Syndrome Day. While our family has no member with Down Syndrome, over the last few years we have become advocates for orphans with the condition internationally. Specifically, we strongly support the efforts of Reece’s Rainbow, an agency with a mission to raise money for children abroad who are waiting for adoption and adopting families. My wife and daughters fundraise for these children in an entrepreneurial spirit through handmade crafts, my wife’s Etsy Store and Lilla Rose franchise, which she started so we could increase the amount we give without further taxing our family’s budget.

Our motivation is loving compassion born out of awareness that people with Down Syndrome are also created in the image of God, as you and I are (Gen 1:27-28). Therefore they are worthy of respect and dignity. We also are encouraged by the many passages of scripture in which orphan care is praised and commended to us as part of living out our faith (e.g., James 1:27, Psalm 82:3, Psalm 146:9). Moreover, since we have also been adopted by our heavenly Father:

when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. (Ephesians 4:4-5)

when we adopt or support those who do, we are living out God’s image stamped on our spirits, and are working out our salvation (Eph 2:10).

Today, on World Down Syndrome Day, consider what you can do.

1. Encourage families with members who have Down Syndrome. This video is an encouraging reminder that even those among us with cognitive disabilities have tremendous potential for, and therefore deserve happy lives.

Here is another touching video along the same lines. // And another one.

2. Consider supporting families who have a mission and calling to adopt special needs children. In most areas of the world, these young ones are thrown away or abandoned due to social stigmas or superstition, even if their parents are still living. Moreover, many orphanages around the world are simply horrific, especially in Eastern Europe and Russia. We can help! Check out this before and after shot of a beautiful girl rescued from an Eastern European country in February of this year!  

JoJo 1 month homeReece’s Rainbow  is a great organization that targets and collects money toward children’s adoption grants; when a family comes forward and commits to adopting a child they can be reimbursed from the child’s account.

Friends who have adopted or are adopting can be found here and here and here. (If I missed your page, email me and I’ll add you to the list!)

The opportunities are not international only. In the United States people with Down Syndrome also need support, and sometimes adoption. On the other hand, the US Government’s expansion of prenatal testing coverage, which with the medical community’s negative attitude toward DS is sure to reduce the rate of Down Syndrome in the population through the only way it can occur medically: abortion. (State prenatal programs even had the goal of reducing the DS population!) So even though less “enlightened” countries deal with special needs children by committing them to orphanages and mental institutions, in the “civilized” USA  we simply kill them—at a rate of 90%!

3. Learn about Down Syndrome and educate the people around you. Teach your children or the kids in your sphere of influence that people with cognitive disabilities are children of God, too. Recently the medical community agreed to eliminate the phrase “retarded” and “mentally retarded” from their diagnostic manuals; let’s eliminate those and the word “retard” when we’re talking about people, shall we?

4. Encourage your church leaders consider how they can come alongside their church families that have members with cognitive disabilities. Many of these families feel rejected by their churches, even though churches should be where they find support. Growing up in Connecticut, our church was involved with a group home a block away, in which several young women with Down Syndrome lived, and they attended worship services and many church events. Is your church a welcoming place for “the least of these” and the family members who care for them?

Me with our friend Daisy

Me with our friend Daisy

My family has been blessed by our interactions with children and young men and women who have Down Syndrome. I pray that you will take this day to seek out this blessing as well. You’ll be glad you did!

Parents Need to Keep Learning, too!

"teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (Deut 6:7).

Deuteronomy 6:7

Over at christianmomthoughts.com Natasha Crain provides a great list of  65 questions that Christian parents should learn to answer. These questions cover the major topics of having and living out a Christian worldview. Parents–pay attention: most churches will not teach you these topics in Sunday School or in a Sunday morning sermon! And your kids’ public schools won’t teach them either!

These are big questions of life, and you probably have to learn it on your own. Fortunately, the internet provides access to many Christian websites that enable you to study these topics. (I’m working on a page compiling those links.) We also have more books than ever (hard copy and eBooks) that address these issues.

I guarantee you that the opposition has plenty of advocates and apologists out there pushing their perspectives–often through the public schools, colleges and universities, and the media. Are you prepared to un-indoctrinate your children?

Deuteronomy 6:7 instructs parents to talk about the things of God all day long…”You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

My Worldview and Apologetics Seminar is specifically designed to address some of these questions, and to point attendees to some of the best resources out there for getting equipped in these areas. You don’t have to be an expert in everything (the Lord knows I’m not!), but you ought to have a foundation for answering these questions.

God and Our Tragedies

girl cryingBackground: On December 3, 2013 two Kalamazoo teens were killed in a car crash, and another took his own life. Many of my students knew these young people, and it was an emotionally wrenching time for the Kalamazoo-area home school community. I wrote this open letter, first and foremost for my students, but then someone suggested that I post it more broadly; I did, and the response to the letter was more than I ever expected. In it, I try to help those who have experienced a tragedy begin the process of grieving and dealing with the hard questions of why God allows such suffering and bad things to occur. This week another young person was in a serious crash and people are asking again, “Why?” In another post I’ll address some of the “why’s” we can explain, but for now I’ve been asked to re-post the original open letter, with only slight edits. I hope and pray you find it healing and helpful.

Many dear friends are grieving tonight…for three young lives ended today. Among many in our community hearts are broken or are breaking, and people we love are crying their eyes out. Parents all around us are hugging their kids a little tighter, as many of our teens are experiencing, for the first time, the death of a peer, a friend, a classmate, a Prom Queen. Worst of all, two families have lost beloved children.

What are we to make of this? How can it make sense? What purpose could there be in these tragedies? These are the situations when, as we sit in puddles of tears, we just can’t see the way clear to a rational reason for any of it.

Just two weeks ago, in my worldview class (which includes several friends of those who passed on), we discussed the nature of suffering. Why do we suffer? Why does tragedy occur? What could God possibly accomplish in horrible circumstances?  I told my dear students that, if they hadn’t experienced tragedy yet, they would.

I promised.

Because that is what happens in a world that was created good, but not perfect, and which is falling apart around us. Creation groans in its fallen state, and tonight we groan along with it.

But our groaning and grieving and weeping is not everything, and need not be the end of the story.

I told my students that when you’re in the weeds—in the middle of a horrible situation, like a sibling or a parent dying, like a typhoon wiping out your home, like a cancer diagnosis, like an assault—that in those close quarters of desperation and grief we can’t understand it at all. We can’t see what any of it means, where God could be, or what God could be doing by letting our world fall apart around us. But, as Corrie ten Boom (who lived through horrors most of us will never face) wrote, “There is no pit so deep, that God’s love is not deeper still.”

Even the pit in which you may now find yourself, you are not alone.

I told my students that because your world is so dark when you are in that pit, that you must decide ahead of time to understand something about God and cling to it, desperately, as if your life depended on it, when you don’t have any answers:

God intends all of our human experiences to direct us to Himself.

Jesus’ disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

Paul, James, and Peter all told their readers that God is accomplishing purposes through our suffering and tribulations, even when we can’t discern the designs of his handiwork or the tragedies He permits (Romans 5:3-4; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 5:8-11). And then there is that familiar promise, “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). And we’ll hear this a lot over the coming days and weeks, about how not everything is good, but that God works things together for good. And in the short term, it will sound trite and maybe even a little pathetic. But wait.

Let’s not forget how Paul introduces that promise: He writes a couple of verses earlier (Rom 8:26-27),

“Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

Paul is saying that when we are in a pit of grief so deep that we don’t even know what to say, the Holy Spirit groans before God on our behalf. My children, you do not walk this painful path alone, and you have not been abandoned.

My point to my students was that we must intellectually grasp the principle that the purposes of God—yes, even His unknown and unknowable purposes—are somehow, inexplicably, being accomplished. And we must understand this before tragedy strikes, so that in our grief we do not curse God or abandon him in what seems like a hopeless, pointless, and purpose-less situation.

Young people, gather together with your friends and loved ones and grieve for a time, for this is right and necessary and healthy. But also gather with older people, those gray-headed elders of The Church who have already walked this path more times than they care to remember. Talk with them about those times that the Lord used tragedies—including deaths of people taken from them much too soon—to do something in their lives. (I can tell you that some of the most important times in my Christian walk occurred among fellow-worshippers in ICU waiting rooms or funeral parlors.) Allow them to speak this evidence into your life, to testify about the Lord’s work. Perhaps there are things they don’t yet understand, and that’s okay, too.

 Older people, seek out opportunities to share your experiences with young people in your circle of friends or in your church. Tell them that you understand what they’re going through. Share with them how the Lord has grown you and those around you through life’s tragedies. This day is one of the reasons you lived through that day…to minister to the broken-hearted around you, and testify to God’s goodness.

Love one another, comfort one another, care for each other, treasure the moments you had with your friends who have gone home ahead of you. And if you can’t talk to God quite yet, or you don’t know what to say, let the Holy Spirit groan on your behalf until you can. Grieve, and in time, you will move forward. Your life will be better for having known them. And then, after a little while, bit by bit, let the Lord show you how He wants to use these friendships and relationships, the loss of your friends, and what you are experiencing now to draw you nearer to him, and to grow you ever more into the likeness of His Son.

May the peace of God the father, the ministry of the Holy Spirit, and the love of Jesus surround you, enfold you, and comfort you.


“Get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.”

For all of the women I know who struggle with their appearance, this speech gets to the point of true beauty: “Get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.” Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o speaks of her childhood in which she knew she wasn’t beautiful because her skin was too dark. But true beauty is what we find on the inside. This is a truly biblical message: “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

[I found this clip at http://www.upworthy.com/oscar-winner-lupita-nyongos-speech-on-beauty-that-left-an-entire-audience-speechless]

When your children say to you…

ExodusPageReading about the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt today, I was reminded of how God views our jobs as fathers (and parents). While giving the instructions to the Israelites about the Passover lamb and the unleavened bread, God foretells three specific conversations

  1. And when your children say to you, ‘What does this rite mean to you?’ you shall say, ‘It is a Passover sacrifice to the LORD who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but spared our homes.’” (Ex 12:26-27 NAS)
  2. You shall tell your son on that day, saying, ‘It is because of what the LORD did for me when I came out of Egypt.’ And it shall serve as a sign to you on your hand, and as a reminder on your forehead, that the law of the LORD may be in your mouth; for with a powerful hand the LORD brought you out of Egypt. Therefore, you shall keep this ordinance at its appointed time from year to year. (Ex 13:8-10)
  3. And it shall be when your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is this?’ then you shall say to him, ‘With a powerful hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, from the house of slavery. It came about, when Pharaoh was stubborn about letting us go, that the LORD killed every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man and the firstborn of beast. Therefore, I sacrifice to the LORD the males, the first offspring of every womb, but every firstborn of my sons I redeem.’  So it shall serve as a sign on your hand and as phylacteries on your forehead, for with a powerful hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt.” (Ex 13:14-16)

What can we learn from this? 

  1. As parents we have the first and foremost responsibility to explain to our children the reasons for our beliefs and worship, not just dictate that we go to church, say grace before dinner, or any other part of our Christian walk. This is central to discipling our children.
  2. These conversations are regular and planned, not random. For Israel, the conversations took place at specific times–it wasn’t left to chance.
  3. The purposes of the conversations are to pass on the knowledge and understanding of the Lord and His ways, and the basis for our faith. If we fail to do this, we should not be surprised when our children don’t hold onto the things we believe are important.
  4. These conversations are between parents and children, not youth group leaders, or Sunday school teachers, or pastors. Parents, you can’t delegate this to others, because you are in the best position to equip and influence your own children. Pastors, youth leaders, and Sunday school teachers come alongside you in this process.

The apostle Peter wrote, “sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence” (1 Peter 3:15). 

Being ready to make a defense includes preparing conversations with our children. Have you explained to your kids why you do what you do, and why it is important? Find an opportunity to do this sometime this week; your drive to church will be a great time!

Discipleship Quick Tip (5/17/2011)

Share with your children challenges you faced where God was working, but you didn’t understand it at the time.

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deut 6:5)

What does it mean to love the Lord with all of your soul?

Your soul is the part of you that is eternal, so it has the ability to perceive the eternal truths and character of God, so that we can see the big picture of God’s will and ways. This means we can love Him even when our immediate circumstances stink.

Share with your children a difficult time in your life, that, when you look back at it, you see that God was at work even when you didn’t know it. For example, once I lost my job in a very unfair set of circumstances, and we struggled with the injustice of it all, and with our own anger. Looking back, though, we can see that God was actually protecting us from later, worse, situations that took place at that organization. His provision for us was my job loss! Understanding God’s promises that He has plans for us (Jer 29:11), that He works things out for our good in the long haul (Rom 8:28), and that the path to spiritual maturity is loaded with difficulties and even persecution (e.g., James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-4) helps you put life’s difficulties in eternal perspective. Understanding this helps you love God with your soul.

Pray for opportunities to share eternal truths with your children.

Discipleship Quick Tip (5/15/2011)

Do a quick check with your family of the ways your family reflects the greatest commandment. Where can you improve?

“Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deut 6:4-5)

In the introduction to this passage (Deut 6:1-3), Moses instructs parents to carefully obey the commandments of the LORD in order to receive generations of blessings (see my earlier blog). And here are the first two parts of  the commandment: 1. Acknowledge the supremacy of Jehovah, and His right to your love and worship and obedience. 2. Love Him in a way that matters for your attitude and behavior.

Loving the Lord requires a heart transplant. The heart is your spiritual core; the source of your attitudes and behavior. Do your attitudes reflect a complete commitment to theses spiritual truths? Just as importantly, do your actions reflect a heart that has been redeemed by Christ? If you are being transformed, the things you say and do must change as you grow, because “the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart” (Matt 15:18) and “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” (Luke 6:45).

Sit down with your family and ask yourselves: Do our attitudes reflect love of the Lord? Do the words that proceed from our mouths reflect redeemed hearts? Do the things we do reflect hearts that love God, or hearts that love ourselves?

If you have found areas of your heart, words, attitudes, and actions that don’t reflect the love of the Lord, pray for Him to guide you to make the changes He wants you to make. Then act on them!

Discipleship Quick Tip (May 11, 2011)

Talk to your children about a challenge you faced at work, and how your faith helped you through it.

Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.
I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. (Proverbs 4:10-13)

One of our goals as Christian parents is to train our children in how to live as mature Christians, even in the most challenging times of our lives. We do this by passing on the wisdom we have gained from the combination of living life and learning our own lessons, often the hard way. Several years ago, it became clear that I was going to lose my job, in an unjust move by my employer. Even though I had some really bad days in that season of my life, Deb and I decided to keep our older sons “in the loop” about the challenges facing our family and me as a father-provider, because one day, our young men would be heads of households, and very likely to face similar challenges. By talking with them about the problem and the challenges, the Lord gave us the opportunity to model for them how men and women respond to those challenges with Christ-like character.

Take a few minutes this week and talk with your children about a challenge you recently faced, or currently face at work. Speak very clearly to them about how your faith helps you to respond to the challenge, and how you were or are trying to be Christ-like in your attitude and behavior. Let them see you work through your problems, and so pass on the wisdom you have acquired.

Discipleship Lesson: Journalists for Jesus!

writingHere is fun and easy idea for helping your children (and their parents) learn about the process used for putting together the Gospels. We did this activity with our whole-family Bible study last week and it worked really well; you can do this with any small group, but it’s particularly fun with tween-age children. 

The point of the exercise is to illustrate how the gospel accounts were constructed; how people can come up with slightly different versions and descriptions and details about events; and how they all still can be reliable sources of information despite these differences.

The interviews
Have children interview adults about an event that occurred in the adult’s life; consider having multiple children interview the adults; assign one older child to be the recorder of the information. Choose some fun or happy event, or one that isn’t particularly lengthy to describe; it would be best to make the event something the interviewers were not present for. In our group we had children interview parents from a different family about how the married couple met.
Have the children report back to the group about the event, telling it in their own words; the recorder can do the reporting, but let the other children chime in when there is a detail they remember that the recorder doesn’t include, and let the interviewed adults insert vital corrections.
Point out when some details differ slightly; that the order of the events as described might not have been the exact order in which the events occurred; that the adults may have remembered or described some details slightly differently; and that the reports are still truthful.

Bible Study
When we read the gospels, we might envision Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John secluding themselves in a desert retreat and writing their books straight through from beginning to end. But it probably didn’t work that way. While the authors of the gospels used some common material, it’s also helpful to think of these men as first-century historians or journalists.
In fact, they probably put together their reports in a way that is similar to the interview activity we just did. We get a clue that this might be the case from the opening verses of Luke:
Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile an account of the things accomplished among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and servants of the word, it seemed fitting for me as well, having investigated everything carefully from the beginning, to write it out for you in consecutive order, excellent Theophilus; so that you may know the exact truth about the things you have been taught. (Luke 1:1-4, NAS)
Ask the basic reporter’s questions about this passage (Who, what, where, when, why, how); let the people, including children, in the group answer. The leader should make the following points when appropriate.

Question: Who wrote this, and who was it written to?
Answer: The author does not tell us his name. Very early in Christian history Luke was accepted as being the author (a good Study Bible or Bible Dictionary will help you with this point). The book was written to “Theophilus” (thee-OFF-ill-us). We don’t know exactly who this is. It may be a person named Theophilus; it may be a made-up name to protect the identity of a real person; or it may be written to all Christians, because in Greek theo means God and philo is a word for friend, so theo-philus meansfriend of God.

Q: What is being written?
A: “An account of the things accomplished among us.” Luke is telling his readers about Jesus’ life and ministry, and later, the experiences of the early church (Acts). 

Q: When was it written?
A: To get this, we have to think about who was interviewed to write the book; the events “were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses.” Luke doesn’t claim to be a witness to Jesus’ life, but often uses the first person (“we”) in the book of Acts. Note that your interviewers didn’t see the events that occurred, but they were able to talk to eyewitnesses who did see or participate in the events. Luke’s sources were the eyewitness to the events of Jesus’ life, including his death, burial, and resurrection. (More than 500 people saw Jesus alive after his crucifixion and death, and many of them were still alive when Paul wrote his letters; 1 Cor 15:3-7.) The fact that Luke was writing when his eyewitnesses were still alive is important, because it means if he made things up, people were around who would correct him, exposing his account as false; therefore, he had a strong motivation to give a truthful, accurate history. Since the apostles were not afraid to challenge and correct each other (e.g., Acts 15), Luke would strive to be accurate. Note that this is how your interviews worked; did a recorder make a mistake in his or her reporting, or leave out an important or interesting detail? Was it easy to correct the error?

Q: How was the information compiled?
A: Luke “investigated everything carefully from the beginning.” Lacking Google, he relied on eyewitness testimony. Would his information (starting from before the conception of John the Baptist and going through Jesus’ resurrection) have been acquired in the exact order it occurred? No, he probably picked up bits and pieces of different events and conversations, depending on who he was interviewing, and what they saw and remembered. In fact, Luke felt compelled “to write it out for you in consecutive order.” Remind your interviewers what it was like gathering the information just from the couple of people they talked to. (One of our 10-year old “recorders” even wrote the information out in the order it was received, and then during the “reporting” intuitively reorganized the information chronologically when he told the story.)

Q: Why was this account written down so carefully?
A: Luke writes that he did this so that you may know the exact truth about the things you have been taught.” Luke’s purpose is to communicate clearly truths, to reinforce the information that Theophilus already had heard. 

By conducting interviews with eyewitnesses about events, the participants in this discipleship activity can learn some important lessons about how the gospels and Acts were put together. If your experience is like ours, it will be fun; there will be some laughing in the telling of the stories; and there may be some poignant moments. I have to believe that as Luke was interviewing the people who knew and loved Jesus, it had to be the same. It wasn’t some sterile, boring lecture, it was real people relating and reliving their personal contact with the most wonderful and loving person they ever knew. The fact that many of those people were still alive when Luke wrote it motivated him to write it accurately. In itself, Luke’s introduction makes a great case for the accuracy of his gospel.

Lessons from a dead butterfly

Something went wrong. 

We have had several cocoons in our butterfly habitat over the last couple of years. We start with caterpillars who ate, grew, and then built their cocoons as they moved toward their metamorphosis into Painted Lady butterflies. Most of the caterpillars did just what they were supposed to do, creating cocoons hanging on a piece of paper, which we then hung on the wall of the habitat. One cocoon fell, and rather than disturb it, we decided to leave it where it lay.

Most of the butterflies, emerging from still-hanging cocoons, stretched their wings, permitting the blood to flow so that they could eventually fly from the habitat when we released them. But when the “fallen” butterfly emerged from his (her?) cocoon, it didn’t act right; it had one wing that was deformed. Instead of flying like the other butterflies, he flapped frantically around the floor of the habitat, unable to take flight. Eventually he died, even after we put sugar water low enough for him to get it.

This got me wondering about what happened, so I have been researching cocoons and the metamorphosis of caterpillars into butterflies, and I’ve learned some lessons about home, family, and parenting.

The cocoon’s purposes

First, the cocoon is a protective covering that permits the caterpillar to mature from its immature state to its mature state; within its walls, it can grow the way God designed it to grow. The caterpillar’s stem cells have all the information it needs to develop into a butterfly, but without the cocoon, the metamorphosis won’t take place. The caterpillar would simply stay immature, and would not fulfill its butterfly-destiny.

Second, the cocoon is a shelter that protects, in this most vulnerable time of its life, the caterpillar from external dangers, such as the predators that want to devour the caterpillar before it has a chance to grow into the mature butterfly God created it to be.

When it goes wrong

I learned that sometimes, the cocoon-metamorphosis process doesn’t work the way it’s designed to. Sometimes a semi-formed butterfly emerges from its cocoon too early. When this happens, its wings are often not fully developed, leaving the immature butterfly vulnerable to predators in the environment, and unable to fly, which is what it is designed to do.

Sometimes the cocoon gets damaged. When this happens several outcomes are possible. Sometimes the caterpillar dies in the cocoon. Sometimes an apparently-mature butterfly will emerge, but will be unable to fly due to unformed or deformed wings. Interestingly, there is evidence that some caterpillars contract their bodies when the cocoon is damaged, protecting themselves from the worst effects of the damage; these caterpillars can emerge from the cocoon fully formed and mature, in spite of the difficult and rocky metamorphosis process.

Lessons in Parenting

Now, re-read the last two sections, replacing ‘cocoon’ with ‘home,’ ‘caterpillar’ with ‘child,’ and ‘butterfly’ with ‘young adult.’

Pretty amazing, isn’t it?

God designed your home, and put you and your children together for a specific set of purposes. Our homes are designed by Him to be a protective shelter from the world and its predators, and to be a safe environment in which we are engaged in the process of metamorphosing our children from immaturity into the mature Christian adults God created them to be (Deut 6; Eph 6:1-4).

If we release them too early, they simply will not have the understanding, wisdom, and godly character needed to walk in the world. Keep them in too long, and their development will be stifled and they will not learn to exercise their faith on their own.

Importantly, we are not alone in this process. The New Testament concept of transformation mainly involves two Greek words. When the word metaschēmatizō is used (Cor 3:18; Phil 3:17-21; 2 Cor 11:13-15; 1 Cor 4:6), it generally implies a transient state, moving from a starting point and headed toward some other point, but the emphasis is on the starting point. When the word metamorphoō is used (Matt 17:2; Mark 9:2;Rom 12:1-2), the emphasis is on movement toward the final end state, with the emphasis on what the transformed person will eventually be like, or on what they have become.

With both parts of the transformation, scripture usually implies that there is some external force actually doing the transformation. So it is with the process of parenting. In the same way that the Lord and the Holy Spirit transform us, we partner with Him in the transformation of our children, equipping them with the faith-tools they need to survive attacks from spiritual predators who would steal their faith from them.

Too many parents simply let others make critical decisions for them when it comes to raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But remember that Hebrews 13:17 gives an important instruction and warning to us: “Obey your leaders and be under their authority. They are watching you because they are responsible for your souls” (ICB). The implied instruction for children is to obey their parents, but parents: look at your role. You are responsible for their souls. This means the cocoon you build has eternal consequences for those you are responsible for raising.

Christian parents: Seek the Lord’s will for you and for your family. Ask Him to reveal to you opportunities for faith-strengthening conversations with your children. Ask Him for wisdom to deal with the challenges they face. Ask the Lord when HE wants you to begin releasing them from your cocoon. (Seriously: ask Him whether your 3, 4, 5, or 6 year old is old enough or mature enough to release to the world!) Ask Him when HE has grown their faith sufficiently to deal with some of the challenges the world gives them.

And no matter what, continue to disciple them with the plan and content HE gives you.